Juggling only becomes easy with practise ….
The clown that is. Not Chanel … sadly. So introducing Coco, the amazing juggling clown. See how she juggles all aspects of her lift with the greatest of ease sporting minimal emotional and mental turmoil….apparently anyways …
It’s no secret that I totally over-analyse and over think every tiny aspect of my life to such an extent that I create whole scenarios in my head, which in turn I agonise over, and create problems which never even existed in scenarios which aren’t even happening - not one of my more attractive qualities I will be the first to admit!
But right now things seem to be worse than ever. The different scenarios in my head, which relate to all the different aspects of my life, seem to have fallen out in a big way! This has resulted in the mental equivalent of horrendous slanging matches, with vulgar name calling and slanderous accusations (not that I hear voices in my head - just colliding thoughts if you get my drift) resulting in a lack of sleep, aching muscles and a twitch in my left eye, which is clearly just adding to the aforementioned list of attractive qualities!
In my life I wear many different hats, the conscientious employee, the dedicated girl group member, the loving daughter and the reliable friend just to name a few. Every single one of these ’hats’ requires an entirely different approach, leaving me feeling a bit like Clarke Kent - glasses wearing office worker by day and super sexy girl group member by night (or something to that effect anyway…)
Right now I am also looking at a couple of different options to give my life a touch of variety, maybe a new qualification, move to a new location, meet some new people, that kind of thing. This has made me feel a little re-vitalised granted, but what it has also done is thrown another ball into the arena. The problem there is that my hand to eye co-ordination seems to be waning, I’ve bitten off more than I can chew, and I am terrified that one of the balls is about to drop. Anyone who has ever watched a juggler knows that once one ball drops it is never long until the rest of them follow ….
So where do I go from here… I feel I have a few options:
Just keep juggling and become better at it
Establish which balls can be gently put down as best not to disturb the flow of the rest of the balls still up in the air
Give up and simply let all the balls fall to the floor in one dramatic and damning flourish which, granted, would have the initial desired effect of a more peaceful existence - but what does a juggler do once all the balls are gone - where is her purpose? And anyway it wouldn’t be long until I would have to start juggling again - there is only so long a girl can wallow …
So what is the best course of action … Ladies and Gentleman roll up roll up for the show of your lives. Watch as the amazing Coco consistently keeps all the balls in the air, and if she accidentally drops one, she bloody well picks it up and keeps going - because someone going after everything they want, having it all and doing it in 5 inch heels …. Now THAT is a show worth seeing!!!
Daft Punk - Get Lucky feat. Pharrell
Mark my words this will be ‘THE’ song of the summer - funk is back in a big way ….
Obsessed with Ombre ….
'Good things come to those who wait'
'If it is meant for you it won't pass you by'
And last but certainly not least ….
'Patience is a virtue' ….. but is it really?
I have never been the type of person to sit back and let things happen to me, I am a firm believer that you make your own luck, and being pro-active within this process is the key. I am pushy, driven and forward thinking - and is that really such a bad thing?
Point in case is Madonna - the queen of pop and one of the most successful female solo artists in the history of modern music. Did she just sit back and wait for the music moguls to come knocking at her door … don’t be ridiculous - she knew what she wanted, where she wanted to be in life, and with little more than $35 in her back pocket and a part time job in Dunkin Donuts to fit around writing music and auditions, she upped and moved to New York city to chase her dreams …. and the rest is history! I doubt anyone could ever deny that her tenacious and driven attitude did not pay off ….
I am the type of person that if I want to see someone, I will make it happen - I will make that call, and I hate taking no for an answer. If I decide I want my life to take a certain direction, I do everything in my power to make it happen, and I see it through to the end. I honestly can’t believe in the theory that if you wait for something, or you ‘deserve’ something it will happen. It is these rose tinted theories that have led to a generation of disappointment and over inflated university debts that, these days, will take a lifetime to pay off, whilst said graduate works in a completely unrelated role to the one they originally studied for, because they don’t have the get up and go to chase their dreams, or ‘life’ just got in the way!
The thing is, life really is too short to be settling for second best. Is there really anything so wrong in knowing what you want from life and going out there and bloody well getting it! I for one will not be sitting back and waiting for my dreams to come to me - consider me officially out there and chasing them.
So it has been one month since that all elusive New Years Day - the day of new beginnings, resolutions and fresh starts. One month later how is everyone doing…
After a pretty sucky 2011, a year that was supposed to have held so much promise and so many opportunities, I decided (as I am sure many others out there did as well) that 2012 would be MY year. Yes that’s right folks, forget the Olympics and that fact that the world is due to end, 2012 is the year of Rosie ….
The good Omens are there. For a start 2012 is the Chinese year of the Dragon, and I was one of those lucky people born in said year. The Dragon is a symbol of good fortune and intense power, and those born in the year of the Dragon are confident, fearless in the face of a challenge and they are almost inevitably successful - Dragons usually make it to the top.
I ended 2011 having lost everything I spent the whole year building and working on, straight back to square one - don’t pass go, don’t collect £200. Some may see this as a terrible misfortune, may want to bury their heads in the sand and chocolate hobnobs. Not me. I have accepted this as a new challenge, a fresh start and an exciting opportunity. No longer am I tied to a job that made me unhappy, a group of people I didn’t trust, a flat I couldn’t afford and this claustraphobic feeling that things weren’t going ‘my way’ - and anyway hobnobs make me nautious …
So when it all came crashing down I adopted the great British tradition of ‘Keep Calm and Carry On’ - because what else can you do … I made mistakes, I learnt from them, I trusted the wrong people, I raised my guard a little bit, I treasured what I had, not what I had lost. This mentality has kept me going through what is usually the most depressing month of the year, and it seems I will be rewarded for my positive attitude - things are slowly building back up. The new Girl Group has some very exciting events on the horizon, I am looking to move house again and I am planning a gorgeous summer holiday, somewhere where men named Juan bring you cocktails in coconuts and monkeys fan you with palm leaves (ok maybe I made the monkey bit up…but you get the picture)
So couple this feeling of fresh starts, regrouping and recollecting my thoughts, alongside the Cosmic forces at work in the Chinese stratosphere, I have a feeling that 2012 is going to be pretty fucking peachy.
Ok *deep breath* “My name is Rosie and I am afraid of Commitment”
Now before you relationship types go and get all sentimental on me I am not just talking about relationships, I am in fact referring to my day to day life in general. I struggle to commit to friends, plans, social events and of course boys ….
Go on try it - I dare you - ask me what I am doing next Wednesday … The true answer is probably ‘absolutely nothing’ but I will tell you I don’t know, purely for the fear that you may try and pigeon hole me into some kind of lunch or coffee. But what if I agree and then Johnny Depp comes calling, or Simon Cowell offers me a record deal starting on Monday - well that simply wouldn’t do, after all I would imagine that the Cowell waits for no-one. So I would brush you off with the standard answer of ‘I’ll get back to you’ Just to be on the safe side that my world domination will not begin to take place and just generally interupt this social event.
Then finally I suppose we had better discuss my attitude to the men folk. Now don’t get me wrong, once I am actually in a relationship I would never stray, so it’s not that type of commitment issue. The problem is actually committing to a relationship in the first place. I love chatting to boys, and I am one hell of a flirt - but actually committing to one of them, so that they are the only one who will be on the receiving end of my flirtatious ways - Now you are scaring me. Against my better judgement I often seem to end up in a ‘casual relationship’ or as ‘friends with benefits’. Don’t go getting the wrong idea, I like it this way - commitment free, no hard feelings and no-one gets hurt.
I think my fear of commitment actually stems from a fear of rejection, because if you never commit to anything you can’t get rejected. If you don’t have a permanant job you can’t get sacked, if you don’t have a boyfriend they won’t break up with you, and if you don’t make concrete plans with people then they can’t let you down. It is essentially a case of me taking control of my life. I do what I want, when I want to do it, without having to answer or apologise to anyone, and dammit it feels good. I am at a point in my life where I have the luxury of being a little selfish, and I am going to take that feeling by the horns and run with it as fast as my little legs will carry me, because for the first time in ages I am truly happy with the direction my life is taking - Footloose and Commitment free.